I know. The last thing you want is to unplug and pull back and risk losing him, but if you’re here on this course, can it really get worse? No. That's good a thing. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain, and I am the one to give you the skills to turn this entire ship around.
But it all hinges on no contact—at least for now.
In chapter one, I’ll explain to you why this is the necessary foundation upon which male manipulation is built. If you can learn to ice a guy out and deploy that as a strategy whenever you need it, you will never again feel these “less” feelings.
Then, dive into chapter one for your first assignment: NO CONTACT.
I know. I know. This doesn’t feel like the right move. You want to express your feelings!
Fuck your feelings. Blindly following your feelings--whether it was sleeping with him on the first date, replying three paragraphs to his one sentence, trying to make out with his roommate to get back at him or whatever—hasn’t really worked out. So it’s time to try a different tactic.
But! But! But! you’re yelling at your screen, I just need to tell him how he’s making me feel! I need to explain what this is doing to our relationship!
Ok, either he knows and—real talk—doesn’t care, or he doesn’t know and telling him will do absolutely jack shit to show him.
Think about how action-based men are: sports, hunting, fighting, fucking. These are all men think about. Studies even show that men use less words per day than women and when they do communicate verbally, they’re more likely to use sounds instead of words. So, fine. Let’s use less words too. Way less. Zero, in fact.
If you feel “less” and out of control, this is the first step in getting not only your power back but power over him and every man you’ll date for the rest of your life. And there’s no action more deafening, more larger-than-life than you icing him out. Silence is truly the only thing they hear.
Cut. The. Contact.
Equally important: do not tell him you’re going no contact.
Let me repeat that: do not send one final text saying you’re not talking to him anymore.
For starters, he’ll know you’re bluffing. Two, you won’t look strong and fed up, you’ll look like you’re desperately giving him one more chance to talk you out of it—which you are.
The first step to getting out in front of any losing battle is to surprise the enemy.
Oh Shallon c’mon, this isn’t a war.
Isn’t it? Don’t you feel defeated, trounced, wounded and hopeless? Love is a battlefield, babe, and I’m here to whip your emotional army into shape.
So, right now, your fuckboy/ex/long lost love thinks he’s got you all figured out. Show him he’s wrong by zipping the lip. Your next video is going to dive deeper into why this works, what goes on in his head, and how it combats a bad breakup or messy behavior.
Then, dive into my worksheet on sorting out the feelings fueling the texts you’re just aching to send, and how to get those needs met in healthier ways!
Extra Credit: